yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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