I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
