Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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