is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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