So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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