I love black thongs
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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