He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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