He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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