I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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