dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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