It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
