I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
