Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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