we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm both gender and math confused
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
