we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
