glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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