I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
sex in a hospital.. check
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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