What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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