The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All I want is dick and wine.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
