i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
