I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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