i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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