let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize