I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sext me about skeletons
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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