Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
