I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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