You can't special order awesome
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
