Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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