i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
