none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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