then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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