dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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