I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
