we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
