Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
