Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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