I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
