If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
