come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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