I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i've created a new STD.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
