Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
