she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
