im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize