What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
