You can't motorboat a personality
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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