a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
