Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
