I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
