dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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