I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
