i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
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Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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