Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
