We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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