I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
