Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
