If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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