i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
