She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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